Pointing the Finger

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?” – Charles M. Schulz

Whenever I am tempted to be critical of whatever something that is not as I would like – I take a step back and assess what I have contributed to the scenario. If I am engaged with this person in a relationship of some sort and have chosen this of my own accord, the dissonance/conflict has been created, on some level, by me. What do I really want from myself that I have tried to pull forth from the other??? It is not fair to criticize a projection or to expect that my miscreations are above reproach.

It is also no fun to point the finger and then accept that the three pointing back implicate actions I am responsible for. I am learning to have a plan of action – rather than accusing and saying “fix it” (fix me). I am the one assessing the “so called” problem. I am not a victim. I can change the entire scenario. Two easy choices…I can create a solution within me or I change my assessment. (Or both.) And there are other choices.

Some of the best relationship advice I have seen recently dealt with couples; but can be applied to all relationships. When you want to make a friend or nurture your friendship, focus on the good that you have in common and grow that together. As that energy dynamic becomes stronger, the negative atrophies.

What is the best fertilizer….?? Loving kindness. Be nicer to yourself and you will be much nicer to others. It starts – and ends – at home. Who knew? At least three fingers. — and my Mother. : ) (She taught me how to count and what counts.)